17/01/11

Over the past few weeks (or months), I’ve been feeling pretty lonely and have been wanting to find a partner who I could share my ideas, dreams and future together with.

But I wonder, is it only because I’m lonely that’s why I’m starting to think about dating (online/offline) or is it really because I have been down and out for the past few months with no real WIN in terms of achievements and/or aspirations.I really hope that this current phase of looking for a partner is a subconcious attempt to try and do something new and different to try and score an accomplishment (getting my first girlfriend in 26 years) for my ego.

I hate to go into a relationship for the wrong reasons.

I’ve been thinking that perhaps I really am not ready for a relationship. I’ve always been someone who enjoy being alone and having the freedom to go and pursuit whatever that interests me (even though I may fail at it). Am I really going to give it up for a chance to be with another person? The heart says I’m willing, but is it really what I need at this stage of my life? Yes, 25 is still pretty young when compared to our increasing life expectancy.

Should I sacrifice my youth, my idealism, my life experience this early just to satisfy my inner ego of not being looked upon as a loser for being single for 26 years now?